Real self-care, the TRUTH behind what self-care really means.

 
 
Self care
 
 

Everywhere you look, from Instagram to Pinterest you see the same message of self-care. There are thousands of posts daily on the topic with catchy titles luring you in to find out the latest tips and tricks to creating the holy grail of self-care routines. But with all this information it’s easy to miss the actual meaning and to truly understand what it is to care for oneself.

Although glitter filled bubble baths and 24k gilded masks are a nice treat and make for pretty pictures... The real question is...

Do they actually care for your inner self? 

You see, I believe real self care starts on the inside, and to really be able to care for yourself in the right way, you first need to see yourself in a new light.  

For years I myself struggled with this concept. I had no problem spending ridiculous amounts of cash on overpriced bath bombs and products that promised to take all my woes away. But at the end of the day none of it mattered because the way I treated myself on the inside remained the same.  

I still thought I was weak, I still thought I was a failure, I still ate food that was bad for my mind and body, I still allowed others to treat me poorly, I still constantly judged my worth and I still felt like shit.  

It wasn’t until a few years after having kids that I had my “AH HA” moment...  

Now, as a mother it was my sole mission in life to care and protect these little humans. I would go to any ends to make sure I gave them the very best of whatever I had. I would bathe them with love and care, bundle them up warm on cold days, read them stories, tell them constantly how loved they were, and still are, and feed them food that was good for them. 

However, and here is the shift… I would also say NO! 

NO... No, to eating an entire bag of candy, even if they begged and pleaded. I would still say no because I loved them and knew that, that would not be good for their little bodies.  

NO... No, to my own family, talking to them negatively and calling them names. I was firm on how you could talk to my kids because I loved and respected them and if others could not do the same, then they didn’t need to be around them. 

I was able to do, and make, the hard calls I needed to make when it came to doing what was indeed best for them, in all areas of their life.  

BUT WAIT!! 

Why was I not able to do this for myself... And there it was, the big “AH HA” 

You see, sometimes, when we don’t grow up with the right kind of parenting, we don’t know how to parent ourselves.  

Parenting ourselves means being able to make the tough calls we need to make in order to protect and care for ourselves in the best way possible.  

It means saying NO! To that extra piece of cake or an entire bag of chips, not because you need to lose weight or be a certain size to be pretty or respected.... But, because

IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND YOU CARE FOR WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU!!  

It means saying NO! To anyone in your life that treats you with disrespect, or uses you, or abuses you, even if it’s a loved one... Why, because

IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND YOU CARE FOR WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU!!

When you shift the way you see yourself and start to see yourself as a beautiful, smart, loving child that needs to be cared for and looked after in the best way an unconditionally loving parent would... 

WELL... Then you truly have the essence of what SELF-CARE really means.  

Although this shift doesn’t happen overnight, I encourage you to take time every day to try to see yourself in new eyes, the eyes of love. Try to catch yourself in difficult situations and ask yourself... Is what I'm about to say, do or eat in my best interest and will it protect and love me.

Keep in mind, real self-care means being real with ourselves and saying no, even when we don't want to... Because it's best for us.

And remember... Little steps in a new direction lead to bigger and better destinations. 

Let me know below in the comments, other areas in our life that we should pay closer attention to, when it comes to self-care.

Love and Wellness  

Amanda