Can you really trust your own thoughts? How your beliefs affect your weight loss.
Often in life, we feel so much pressure to be, act, look and talk a certain way, to feel loved and accepted by others. These imposed pressures can come at us from everywhere, social media, friends, family, workplaces, etc.
It can feel like a never-ending stream of judgment, constantly weighing on us. This pressure to ‘Be” doesn’t just come from outside sources; it can also come from within. In many cases we are our own biggest critic, judging our every single thought and action.
These judgments stem from deeply rooted beliefs we all hold within us. These beliefs are formed at a young age some even in the womb. The thing is most of the beliefs we hold within us are not even our own. They once came from somewhere or someone else and are passed onto us like ratty old hand me downs. Little by little, we begin to fill and hold onto these used outdated items in our minds closet. Over time, our once beautiful open mind, now more closely resembles an episode of hoarders and we no longer have room to breathe.
The pressure to live up to all these cluttered beliefs can feel like an impossibly daunting task, with no end in sight. For a lot of us, life seems to be more of a coping act than a joy-filled experience.
I saw a quote the other day that said,
“And when you become a diamond, you’ll see why life had to pressure you”
I had to stop and really think about this. One, because we are not hard rocks, we are human beings. And two, this seems like another one of those messages wrapped up to look pretty but underneath all the fancy gift wrap lies a nasty little message.
It implies that all this pressure is good for us; I mean, we've heard this time and time again - people saying
“pressure is good for you” or “it will make you stronger” or “it’s building character”.
Oh, and BTW, if you don’t become stronger, or turn into a diamond, guess what, you failed.
I mean, all these other people are getting stronger and building character and turning into diamonds, and you are left feeling like a failure that can’t cope and deal with the pressure.
To top it off, you usually get a - suck it up, princess.
This message of life is hard and you either deal with it or you don’t kind of attitude really sucks and frankly, I'm over it.
The biggest thing that is missing in our society, others and in ourselves is compassion. This lack of compassion, I feel, is at the very core of our wellbeing and therefore the very thing that causes dis-ease within us.
We spend so much time pushing against and away from each other when in fact we should be pulling each other in. This dog eats dog, survival of the fittest, deal with it yourself, not my problem, we've all got troubles, mentality is what's damaging our ability to feel for others and ourselves.
Not only are you trying to live up to standards and beliefs that are not your own, but you are made to feel less for not being able to achieve something that wasn’t even achievable in the first place. And so this inevitably leads us to believe - why even try, I mean what’s the point.
And you know what, you’re right.
What is the point?
What’s the point of trying to uphold beliefs that are not your own. How does this serve you, what good can come from trying to be, do, or act in a way that was never meant for you?
The answer is, none.
There is however a solution to all this mental madness, let me break it down.
It’s to time to Marie Kondo that disaster of a closet you’ve got goin’ on in your mind. That means pulling everything out and throwing it onto the bed.
Pick up one belief at a time and hold it for a second in your mind's eye. Take a good look at it from all angles.
Why do you believe this to be true?
Where did it come from?
Who gave it to you?
Do you like it?
How does it make you feel?
Does it serve you?
Does it bring you joy?
If it does no longer serve you or bring you joy or add to your life in a positive way, then you need to let it go.
It has had its run and it’s now time to get rid of it. It does not need to be donated or passed on to anyone else, it needs to be burned or buried.
Only beliefs that hold value, server you or bring you joy get to stay and be put back into your closet.
Sometimes you might come up against a belief that you want to keep because someone special gave it to you, but just because beliefs come from people we love does not mean we need to make them our own.
Alternatively maybe you find a belief that once served you in the past, however now it no longer does. If you come across these beliefs simply thank them and releases them. They have served their purpose and it’s now time for them to move on.
Compassion, compassion, compassion.
Be gentle with yourself as you sort through all your shit. Allow your feelings to ebb and flow without judging what's wrong or right.
This process is about finding and creating a new set of beliefs that feel true to who you are, how you want to be and what you choose to say yes to.
Letting go of the past can be painful, so remember to hold your own hand and think about how nice, light and free your mind is gonna feel once you are done.
Thanks, but no thanks. Become a savvy shopper.
Only, I repeat ONLY!
Take on a new belief if you are head over heels in love with it or you feel it will serve you and add to the betterment of your life.
This is where developing the habit of saying no comes into action.
Listen, now that you spent all this time and energy revamping your mental closet, you don’t want to start filling it back up with useless junk. So the next time someone tries to sell you something because they think you need it - you just smile and say no thank you and keep on walking.
It's a lot easier to create a life that fits you than to try to fit into a life designed for someone else.
Are your current beliefs setting you up for failure?
Click the link below to download your free guide to kicking your old beliefs to the curb; also learn how to create new beliefs that serve you and the life you want.
And remember... Little steps in a new direction lead to bigger and better destinations.
I love hearing from you guys. Let me know below in the comments, if you too have struggled with trying to live up to others beliefs.
Love and Wellness